It is sunday and as I don't think I can make jam (like Hindeja apparently did today - cool!!) I decided to still take a bit of the day off and pack culture and adventure into it - however, as that meant doing a bit of biking to see whether I am even carved out for my rügen plans, I figured I need to first install my years ago free received bike computer during my bike-tourist-guide-passau-to-budapest-summer - of course the battery was empty so after I had managed to strap it to my bike (and yes, as with almost every piece of furniture in my apartment, also in this endeavor I got initially defeated by a pictogram in my 'I am smarter than that' attitude... but returning to my flat (3 flights of stairs) and with proper equipment and luck managed to get the mismatched parts apart again and had it all installed). Then to the station at Südkreuz for a new battery and finally around 2 off into the wild wild city. However, due to the time and the amount of action at Brandenburger Tor I decided to skip the exhibition at the Akademie der Künste which I had planned as a first stop and biked on through Unter den Linden and the south to Treptower Park to see the really impressive Sowjet Monument! From there through the park and passing by the defunct amusement park Spreewald which I had just read about this morning and thus biked around the areal because that is a truly cool sight - with the rotting joy-rides.... and then off to my actual destination: Müggelsee. It has a really great bikeroute around large parts of the lake, but unfortunately only tiny bits of shore or places where to actually access the lake most is woods and reeds. But still very nice. Spent about an hour on a runway for ships reading and relaxing my knees ... and then back through all of Sonnenallee and along the also defunct airport Tempelhof. Great tour but given my knee and exhaustion issues (and by tomorrow likely sore muscles and the inability to sit on my bike for days to come) ... I might have to reconsider Rügen... let's see.
If you want to check out the really cool route (though not absolutely accurate) - I tried to reconstruct it on google-maps (which hardly allows for through-park-biking... thus only approximately true.
Oh and my bike computer developed some funny attitudes after our little break at the lake, though without having had any contact with either water or sun ... because on the ride back I apparently oscillated between speeds of 43 to 79 ... I mean I admit that I am a ruthless and quick biker and can hardly accept anyone taking the lead or overtaking me ... but even in my best shape and with slight downhill conditions I will hardly even reach the 43 :) So maybe the 2 hours and 2,35 euros invested in getting it set up may have been wasted...
8/09/2009
8/05/2009
Don't Freudian psychologize my laughing dreams!
This is less a sharing than a form of note-to-self-diary entry... once again really establishing my status as 'bilkul pagal' (i.e. total weirdo) - because - as I did post on facebook, today I woke up too early (at 6.34) due to imagined stomach cramps (I was actually clasping my middle in my sleep-wake-up transition) which resulted from a very intense dreamed fit of laughter. What I did not share there was the dream that led to it ... that one I did write to Mika, because she totally gets me - but as she really appreciated the many-leveled humor, I might as well put it out there:
The dream was really (quite along the lines of Katharina's statement) postmodern in the 3-4 dimension remoteness from the 'fact'. Because I dreamed to be in a seminar (with people I do not know in real life but knew quite well there) where we analyzed (1. level) the presentation of the 2008 excursion to Western Canada (2. level and an event I could not possibly know as I could not attend) where the people recounted an event during said excursion at a library at a university before Vancouver (but not one we visited - btw 3. level - excursion itself), where we saw a movie of the funeral of Princess Diana and Dodi (together in one funeral - and, of course, a fact that never happened during said excursion and 4. level if you will). So weirdness galore already. But multilayeredness seems natural in dreams and my life so thats not where the giggles come from.
However on the screen (in screen) we saw the coffins being rolled in, and they were covered in flowers, red roses mostly, his coffin was decidedly darker than hers. But amidst all the flowers on both coffins were large yummy commemoration cakes - his was a sinfully looking dark chocolate covered one with exquisite designs, hers was absurdly enough in an 'open-book' shape and covered in creme-colored marzipan and with a large 50 on top (for whatever reasons). And a priest started circling the coffins spreading incense and sprinkling holy water - and my friend with whom I shared the last row in said seminar room muttered: 'Great, now who is gonna want to eat them!' And despite, the of course, very sober ambiance we looked at each other and started to uncontrollably giggle (because whenever we thought we mastered it, the cakes just reappeared in close ups on the screens) ... until it shook me awake. (and due to the fun we had I also was very reluctant to let go and really open my eyes, only my tummy really started to hurt - in the dream).
You see - the weirdo award of the day was justly earned by me and that too, before most of you were even awake :)
In addition, of course, I just love the idea of strapping commemoration cakes to coffins and should maybe communicate this to my brother (who just took over our undertaker's business - nice wordplay btw) as a new marketing thing.
The dream was really (quite along the lines of Katharina's statement) postmodern in the 3-4 dimension remoteness from the 'fact'. Because I dreamed to be in a seminar (with people I do not know in real life but knew quite well there) where we analyzed (1. level) the presentation of the 2008 excursion to Western Canada (2. level and an event I could not possibly know as I could not attend) where the people recounted an event during said excursion at a library at a university before Vancouver (but not one we visited - btw 3. level - excursion itself), where we saw a movie of the funeral of Princess Diana and Dodi (together in one funeral - and, of course, a fact that never happened during said excursion and 4. level if you will). So weirdness galore already. But multilayeredness seems natural in dreams and my life so thats not where the giggles come from.
However on the screen (in screen) we saw the coffins being rolled in, and they were covered in flowers, red roses mostly, his coffin was decidedly darker than hers. But amidst all the flowers on both coffins were large yummy commemoration cakes - his was a sinfully looking dark chocolate covered one with exquisite designs, hers was absurdly enough in an 'open-book' shape and covered in creme-colored marzipan and with a large 50 on top (for whatever reasons). And a priest started circling the coffins spreading incense and sprinkling holy water - and my friend with whom I shared the last row in said seminar room muttered: 'Great, now who is gonna want to eat them!' And despite, the of course, very sober ambiance we looked at each other and started to uncontrollably giggle (because whenever we thought we mastered it, the cakes just reappeared in close ups on the screens) ... until it shook me awake. (and due to the fun we had I also was very reluctant to let go and really open my eyes, only my tummy really started to hurt - in the dream).
You see - the weirdo award of the day was justly earned by me and that too, before most of you were even awake :)
In addition, of course, I just love the idea of strapping commemoration cakes to coffins and should maybe communicate this to my brother (who just took over our undertaker's business - nice wordplay btw) as a new marketing thing.
8/04/2009
devising rewards for deeds far from accomplished...
sometimes being future oriented and forward looking might just be a way of avoiding work - which gets even more absurd if the time not spent on work is spent on planning the ultimate reward one is going to gift oneself once the work not-in-progress will be accomplished ... the actions of a really twisted character...
so yes, I have not written a word today (as of yet, the night is young *hüstel*) but came up with the perfect reward and hopefully affordable holiday: mit dem rad nach rügen! a mere 300 km north of Berlin means two days of biking to reach the beach - 1-2 days there and then depending on how hard the biking up there proved to be home either by train (if exhausted) or via a detour along the sea and home closer to the Polish border, if it proves to be rather nice (3 days of biking). The challenges (aside of cost) will be how to limit luggage (i.e. not take the laptop and still be able to recharge my ipod) and to get cheap bike-bags so I do not have to carry an overweight backpack... and, of course, the weather and the wind which is said to possibly be fierce due to the countryside's flatness... but at the same time: adventures galore! (I hope) ... oh and get the bike into shape (while same is, naturally, not necessary for the body, as there is shape in abundance already...). Anything I forgot? Ah, yes, get a google-maps printout or maybe even a real street map ;)
so yes, I have not written a word today (as of yet, the night is young *hüstel*) but came up with the perfect reward and hopefully affordable holiday: mit dem rad nach rügen! a mere 300 km north of Berlin means two days of biking to reach the beach - 1-2 days there and then depending on how hard the biking up there proved to be home either by train (if exhausted) or via a detour along the sea and home closer to the Polish border, if it proves to be rather nice (3 days of biking). The challenges (aside of cost) will be how to limit luggage (i.e. not take the laptop and still be able to recharge my ipod) and to get cheap bike-bags so I do not have to carry an overweight backpack... and, of course, the weather and the wind which is said to possibly be fierce due to the countryside's flatness... but at the same time: adventures galore! (I hope) ... oh and get the bike into shape (while same is, naturally, not necessary for the body, as there is shape in abundance already...). Anything I forgot? Ah, yes, get a google-maps printout or maybe even a real street map ;)
die wunderbare welt der tiere...
sitting at my desk (no, don't worry, not working, of course, not!) I am all amazement at a not so little lady bug - because he is struggling to get outside, being trapped between my two windows. A sad matter as such - the amazing thing, however is, that I never ever opened either one side of these windows - not only because they are painted shut (thanks to my maintenance guy who closed them before the paint had dried) but also because the position and hight of my desk does not allow it - and the balcony door right beside it offers enough of fresh-air-inlets - so until now this fact had not seemed to be at the disadvantage of anything or anyone .... until the lady bug .... but not only am I in no position to rescue it - the more interesting aspect would be: how the .... did that creature get there in the first place?!?? I mean I know of other tiny insectuous creatures who apparently live in walls and make their way into human living areas especially if they find them cleaned on only irregular basis.... but a ladybug - honestly? and although my windows are old, last winter I did not have the feeling that they were that utterly untight .... and to close on a note on relativity and perspective: while a ladybug may seem to be quite small - seeing it trapped between closed windows that appear tight all around, it looks huge in comparison to possibly gaps there might be to crawl in or out ...
and as we are on small animals already: I made a host of ants experience a storm on a cloudless sunny day yesterday - because upon exiting the library they had made a second cover to the frame of my bike (which is always parked underneath trees that continue to drip sweet stuff I have to swipe from my seat every morning) - and as they were too many to rescue and i am not particularly given to pity towards creatures of less than 10 cm body length (or plants of any size) I just biked off at my usual speed and miraculously must have lost them all on the way, as the frame was clear of creatures when put into park position at home ...
and as we are on small animals already: I made a host of ants experience a storm on a cloudless sunny day yesterday - because upon exiting the library they had made a second cover to the frame of my bike (which is always parked underneath trees that continue to drip sweet stuff I have to swipe from my seat every morning) - and as they were too many to rescue and i am not particularly given to pity towards creatures of less than 10 cm body length (or plants of any size) I just biked off at my usual speed and miraculously must have lost them all on the way, as the frame was clear of creatures when put into park position at home ...
7/31/2009
on redefinitions - or concept displacement
ich glaub ich hab so vor mehreren Monaten - sagen wir mal Mitte Jänner etwa - glücklichst, erschöpft und durchaus überzeugt verkündet dass ich nicht nur mit arbeit fertig wäre sondern so bald nix mehr reparieren würd und schon gar nicht in dieser meiner wohnung?!?
nun ja ... wie immer wenn ich von plänen meinerseits absolut überzeugt bin ...
jedenfalls hab ich heute den eigentlich eher meteorischen bestimmten Begriff der Föhnwand neu zu definieren begonnen, und hab, nachdem ich zuerst (bisher nur teilweise *stöhn*stöhn*ächz*) die so schön und mühsam und vor allem in MENGEN eingefüllten Silikonabdeckungen rausgekratzt hab meine schöne rote Wand geföhnt und dies dürfte sich für die nächsten Wochen neben dem schon langweiligen Jammergegenstand 'chapter' zu einem neuen lustigen Hobby entwickeln.... bevor ich dann nach Anleitung meiner alten guten Freunde aus dem Bauhaus auf ein neues versuche nicht das Wasser mit dem Wein, aber in ähnlicher Alliteration die Wand mit der Wanne zu verbinden... und mit etwas Glück finden sich dazwischen (also zwischen Trocknung und Verklebung) Reste von weißer und roter Farbe um das ganze auch wieder gebührlich zu behübschen...
nun ja ... wie immer wenn ich von plänen meinerseits absolut überzeugt bin ...
jedenfalls hab ich heute den eigentlich eher meteorischen bestimmten Begriff der Föhnwand neu zu definieren begonnen, und hab, nachdem ich zuerst (bisher nur teilweise *stöhn*stöhn*ächz*) die so schön und mühsam und vor allem in MENGEN eingefüllten Silikonabdeckungen rausgekratzt hab meine schöne rote Wand geföhnt und dies dürfte sich für die nächsten Wochen neben dem schon langweiligen Jammergegenstand 'chapter' zu einem neuen lustigen Hobby entwickeln.... bevor ich dann nach Anleitung meiner alten guten Freunde aus dem Bauhaus auf ein neues versuche nicht das Wasser mit dem Wein, aber in ähnlicher Alliteration die Wand mit der Wanne zu verbinden... und mit etwas Glück finden sich dazwischen (also zwischen Trocknung und Verklebung) Reste von weißer und roter Farbe um das ganze auch wieder gebührlich zu behübschen...
7/30/2009
afraid of having crossed the fine line....
It is a truth universally acknowledged that I am a lucky bastard, always have been and always got by with it ... still I cannot help but - from an academic point of view - be afraid that I am crossing the fine line between lucky picks in my reading choice and merely reading into books what is currently convenient for my research .... because, honestly, how lucky can one be ... twice in a row in the search for bed-time and airplane and in-case-of-boredom-in-Austria and tanning-in-the-doorway-of-my-balcony read to pick novels which EXACTLY support a) my general thesis and b) perfectly fit the still in progress chapter writing to add easy lit-analysis pages to lengthen the written text in no time to an acceptable amount?!?
The two books in questions are Siri Hustvedt's The Sorrows of an American which is just as cosmopolitan, ordinary life focused, ethnic characters without being about ethnicity predominantly and dealing with the role of America in globalization or the effects of the latter on the first. Thus, if necessary - and has been suggested by one of my supervisors - providing perfect material to argue that although I research a case study of authors from so-defined ethnic heritage, my argument that this grouping is no longer relevant has already literary proof, in case I go for that line of argument. Because, Hustvedt, despite name and ancestors, I suspect is hardly considered an ethnic author, not least due to her marriage to Auster.
The other book I picked up after having for myself decided that due to prolonged stays of the author in the US and his cosmopolitan transmigrant biography as well as - most of all actually - that the book was published in North America and mostly reviewed there and even the pre-published short story the novel evolved from originally appeared in The Paris Review was North American enough to be included, even though the author currently relocated back to his native Lahore (Pakistan). I am talking about Mohsin Hamid's The Reluctant Fundamentalist. My current focus on globalization effects on individuals as reflected in literature has several examples for the precariousness of lives and experiences of lacking agency, but all these are kind of subchapters. Now, while Hamid's novel (no surprise with that title) will also figure in the fundamentalism-subchapter - though as both fitting the category and ironically subverting it - it is the one text perfect to enter the chapter in its criticism of American Imperialism and the (by its agents) hardly critically reflected financial markets' takeover of world power.
Of course I have conveniently found reviews of both books to substantiate my arguments .... yet given my selective reading of academic texts in general not for what they really are about but mostly for what I can use them - a trap I much too repeatedly find myself in - I figure that my readings of reviews is likely just as biased as my approach to the texts might be .... thus, while I of course will exploit both texts as outlined, I continue to hear the weary voice at the back of my head muttering that it wonders what this books would be about if anyone else read them.... so in case you have read any of them, talk to the voice! (for the thesis-writing-mind might not be listening)
The two books in questions are Siri Hustvedt's The Sorrows of an American which is just as cosmopolitan, ordinary life focused, ethnic characters without being about ethnicity predominantly and dealing with the role of America in globalization or the effects of the latter on the first. Thus, if necessary - and has been suggested by one of my supervisors - providing perfect material to argue that although I research a case study of authors from so-defined ethnic heritage, my argument that this grouping is no longer relevant has already literary proof, in case I go for that line of argument. Because, Hustvedt, despite name and ancestors, I suspect is hardly considered an ethnic author, not least due to her marriage to Auster.
The other book I picked up after having for myself decided that due to prolonged stays of the author in the US and his cosmopolitan transmigrant biography as well as - most of all actually - that the book was published in North America and mostly reviewed there and even the pre-published short story the novel evolved from originally appeared in The Paris Review was North American enough to be included, even though the author currently relocated back to his native Lahore (Pakistan). I am talking about Mohsin Hamid's The Reluctant Fundamentalist. My current focus on globalization effects on individuals as reflected in literature has several examples for the precariousness of lives and experiences of lacking agency, but all these are kind of subchapters. Now, while Hamid's novel (no surprise with that title) will also figure in the fundamentalism-subchapter - though as both fitting the category and ironically subverting it - it is the one text perfect to enter the chapter in its criticism of American Imperialism and the (by its agents) hardly critically reflected financial markets' takeover of world power.
Of course I have conveniently found reviews of both books to substantiate my arguments .... yet given my selective reading of academic texts in general not for what they really are about but mostly for what I can use them - a trap I much too repeatedly find myself in - I figure that my readings of reviews is likely just as biased as my approach to the texts might be .... thus, while I of course will exploit both texts as outlined, I continue to hear the weary voice at the back of my head muttering that it wonders what this books would be about if anyone else read them.... so in case you have read any of them, talk to the voice! (for the thesis-writing-mind might not be listening)
7/15/2009
seriously now! ...
Even co-organizing a small (but great) graduate conference with 14 colleagues can only serve as an excuse for imaginary much deserved / needed / (fill in the blanks) rest and procrastinating recreation ... even if each one of these lost days saw me pretending to be just about to start working on 5 fronts at once ...
though, I did spend some time indulging in 'beauty-stuff' and did make a quite eatable bananenschnitte yesterday for a barbecue party at a professor's house ... but there being already considerably less than 4 weeks to D-Chapter-Day today is the day - seriously now!! today I am heading off to the library and will only leave there when kicked out AND at least 3 pages of said chapter are written!
So got to get going, but will keep complaining and contemplating the possible lack of success and progress here, too...
For today I plan a rereading of some Appadurai and Butler and the analysis of a short story by Saleema Nawaz. (Oh, come on, to get into projects you have to start with picking raisins from the cake (- as a metaphor intended for raisin-likers!!))
though, I did spend some time indulging in 'beauty-stuff' and did make a quite eatable bananenschnitte yesterday for a barbecue party at a professor's house ... but there being already considerably less than 4 weeks to D-Chapter-Day today is the day - seriously now!! today I am heading off to the library and will only leave there when kicked out AND at least 3 pages of said chapter are written!
So got to get going, but will keep complaining and contemplating the possible lack of success and progress here, too...
For today I plan a rereading of some Appadurai and Butler and the analysis of a short story by Saleema Nawaz. (Oh, come on, to get into projects you have to start with picking raisins from the cake (- as a metaphor intended for raisin-likers!!))
7/05/2009
Pulp Fiction and Chick Lit - signifiers for the end of a struggle?
Don't judge a book by it's cover ... at least not always and especially not if the literature you are dealing with is prone to the orientalizing gaze of the Western literary market - as a nice talk by Mary Anne Mohanraj at last year's SALA in San Francisco comprehensively summarized. She was kind enough to put her results up on her page upon request.
And yes, I know that book titles - just like covers - are not primarily determined by authors - especially not new emerging voices. However, sometimes the combination of title and cover (very much in the line Mary Anne determined: only parts of female body clad in sari, redish-yellowish coloring) do tell all that is to say about a book. On the return flight from Boston I finished A Good Indian Wife - perfect airplane novel (though I picked it up at Barnes & Nobles). Because, really it is only pulp chick-lit, nothing there to help me in my thesis, but at least less awful than I found Marrying Anita which I have yet to finish, or maybe just not...
And then again - I am currently, though working on a different aspect and chapter of the thesis, trying to get my theoretical argument together (which has been challenged at the Dartmouth College "Futures of American Studies Institute") as to why diaspora is just no longer an adequate frame for cosmopolitan transnational transcultural writing by South Asian North Americans, and keep pondering whether the fact that the diasporic imaginary by now also serves as the backdrop of pulp fiction is not possibly along my lines.
These two novels (usualy within a few pages already) serve up all - I mean ALL - the exoticizing stereotypes the West has about Indians and the Indian diaspora in particular (along the "only those from your own culture can truly understand you"-kind of stuff): arranged marriages, spices and food, women finding a place for themselves, omnipresence of family ties and obligations and the displaced community sticking together, ....
So, I started thinking, whether not the very fact that the arguments, methods, themes and modes which gave voice and visibility to the South Asian diaspora in literature up to the early 1990s have now entered the realm of pulp fiction and chick-lit actually supports my argument. These are no longer critical points of view, but have entered the most uncritical of mainstream markets - which means they have lost all their potential of resistance and political voice. This is no longer about collective identity constructions, but simple a re-inscription of stagnant cultural assumptions.
The diasporic collective cultural identity as the backdrop of literature is actually signifying the pastness of the idea. I will have to find a more eloquent way to voice this, yet, but in addition to my array of theories from Althusser via Levinas to Lipsitz, Benn Michaels and Appadurai I think it will at least come in as a handy footnote in the discussion of consumerism and the global literary market. Except, if you think I am totally off track here! Then please let me know.
And yes, I know that book titles - just like covers - are not primarily determined by authors - especially not new emerging voices. However, sometimes the combination of title and cover (very much in the line Mary Anne determined: only parts of female body clad in sari, redish-yellowish coloring) do tell all that is to say about a book. On the return flight from Boston I finished A Good Indian Wife - perfect airplane novel (though I picked it up at Barnes & Nobles). Because, really it is only pulp chick-lit, nothing there to help me in my thesis, but at least less awful than I found Marrying Anita which I have yet to finish, or maybe just not...
And then again - I am currently, though working on a different aspect and chapter of the thesis, trying to get my theoretical argument together (which has been challenged at the Dartmouth College "Futures of American Studies Institute") as to why diaspora is just no longer an adequate frame for cosmopolitan transnational transcultural writing by South Asian North Americans, and keep pondering whether the fact that the diasporic imaginary by now also serves as the backdrop of pulp fiction is not possibly along my lines.
These two novels (usualy within a few pages already) serve up all - I mean ALL - the exoticizing stereotypes the West has about Indians and the Indian diaspora in particular (along the "only those from your own culture can truly understand you"-kind of stuff): arranged marriages, spices and food, women finding a place for themselves, omnipresence of family ties and obligations and the displaced community sticking together, ....
So, I started thinking, whether not the very fact that the arguments, methods, themes and modes which gave voice and visibility to the South Asian diaspora in literature up to the early 1990s have now entered the realm of pulp fiction and chick-lit actually supports my argument. These are no longer critical points of view, but have entered the most uncritical of mainstream markets - which means they have lost all their potential of resistance and political voice. This is no longer about collective identity constructions, but simple a re-inscription of stagnant cultural assumptions.
The diasporic collective cultural identity as the backdrop of literature is actually signifying the pastness of the idea. I will have to find a more eloquent way to voice this, yet, but in addition to my array of theories from Althusser via Levinas to Lipsitz, Benn Michaels and Appadurai I think it will at least come in as a handy footnote in the discussion of consumerism and the global literary market. Except, if you think I am totally off track here! Then please let me know.
7/02/2009
in the avoidance of real work
No, have no fear this is not yet another blog-entry listing my current procrastination activities - not much changed there.
I only loaded this page in order not to open a document to work on ... because the absurdity of my present condition is that I am very thrilled and excited because tomorrow - I decided - I really finally get to it and start my first chapter (to be handed in in 5 weeks?!?) .... But in order to do so I made a list of things to be completed before and that - strangely enough - is less exciting ...
Furthermore received a new tax statement and only owe 241 euro for 2008 - that was a pleasant surprise and is actually affordable - especially compared to the year before. And they also reduced my 2009 prepayment request from 4.190 to 0,-- not working and not being in Austria for 3 years helped here, I admit.
Oh and supported my 14-year old niece to practice civil disobedience in school and gave her instructions on how to do it. Not sure if that is morally sound, but my gut said go for it!
And a final note: I spent 12 USD on another set of really great buttons to sport! so look out for my pant legs - that's where they usually end up on at the moment. Favorites: "Fashionably Strange" "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we" and "Now pull up your Big Girl Panties and deal with it." and have to make one (was sold out) with "When in doubt, mumble"
And now I will pull up my big girl panties and start dealing with my list....
I only loaded this page in order not to open a document to work on ... because the absurdity of my present condition is that I am very thrilled and excited because tomorrow - I decided - I really finally get to it and start my first chapter (to be handed in in 5 weeks?!?) .... But in order to do so I made a list of things to be completed before and that - strangely enough - is less exciting ...
Furthermore received a new tax statement and only owe 241 euro for 2008 - that was a pleasant surprise and is actually affordable - especially compared to the year before. And they also reduced my 2009 prepayment request from 4.190 to 0,-- not working and not being in Austria for 3 years helped here, I admit.
Oh and supported my 14-year old niece to practice civil disobedience in school and gave her instructions on how to do it. Not sure if that is morally sound, but my gut said go for it!
And a final note: I spent 12 USD on another set of really great buttons to sport! so look out for my pant legs - that's where they usually end up on at the moment. Favorites: "Fashionably Strange" "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we" and "Now pull up your Big Girl Panties and deal with it." and have to make one (was sold out) with "When in doubt, mumble"
And now I will pull up my big girl panties and start dealing with my list....
6/21/2009
Immigration by Austen
apparently being away from people to actually converse with - stranded in lands of strangers- at least has the side effect of reanimating my blogging activities - as there is one more story to relate concerning my journey:
chatting with the immigration officer or "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman traveling to the US alone, must be in want of a green card."
Because, as always, I claimed to be here on tourist business only, so not to excite any suspicions connected to possible business activities if I mention the word conference or university summer school. Traveling all alone, without knowing anyone at the point of destination and being less then serious (see fully rested from the flight) raised a number of questions by the immigration officer.
Why Boston? - Well, that one I had covered: I study American studies and had not yet been to this cradle of the idea of America, an unpardonable neglect on my part, I thus intend to remedy (though answered in slightly less words). As I claimed I do not know anyone here - So you plan to find someone? - *laugh* Äh no, and anyway I am already married. - Then why is your husband not with you? - He did not get off work, and anyway, we are separated. - *puzzled look, unsure of whether that would possibly make me even more suspicious* - that's a loooong story you don't want to hear - *more suspicious puzzlement in those watery blue eyes* How much money do you carry? - About 9 US-dollars and slightly less than 20 Euros. - *shocked surprise added to puzzlement* Do you carry a *mumblemumblemubmle* - Sorry? - *even more suspicion* a credit card?! - Of course, and about 3 ATM cards. - Well .... ähm ... have a great stay. - Will do!
chatting with the immigration officer or "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman traveling to the US alone, must be in want of a green card."
Because, as always, I claimed to be here on tourist business only, so not to excite any suspicions connected to possible business activities if I mention the word conference or university summer school. Traveling all alone, without knowing anyone at the point of destination and being less then serious (see fully rested from the flight) raised a number of questions by the immigration officer.
Why Boston? - Well, that one I had covered: I study American studies and had not yet been to this cradle of the idea of America, an unpardonable neglect on my part, I thus intend to remedy (though answered in slightly less words). As I claimed I do not know anyone here - So you plan to find someone? - *laugh* Äh no, and anyway I am already married. - Then why is your husband not with you? - He did not get off work, and anyway, we are separated. - *puzzled look, unsure of whether that would possibly make me even more suspicious* - that's a loooong story you don't want to hear - *more suspicious puzzlement in those watery blue eyes* How much money do you carry? - About 9 US-dollars and slightly less than 20 Euros. - *shocked surprise added to puzzlement* Do you carry a *mumblemumblemubmle* - Sorry? - *even more suspicion* a credit card?! - Of course, and about 3 ATM cards. - Well .... ähm ... have a great stay. - Will do!
the way to travel
I am in strong favor of travel in sleep-deprived states ... tested recently on my return from Austria to Berlin I only was conscious for about 117 minutes of the almost 9 hour train ride - barely enough to change trains, fill my stomach with the extensive breakfast bought at Linz train station and in Leipzig, as always, switch to the opposite bench as it is a dead-end train station and would result in my facing backwards on the last leg of the ride ... not an option as everyone who ever moved even over a short distance in my company would know.
As I am also in strong favor of cheap traveling, I ended up booking a flight to Boston that left Berlin at 7.35 - not a bad time I thought at the time... once again (see my Vienna trip in November) not taking the be-at-the-airport-2-hours-before-departure-idea into account. However, as I also rather successfully wasted away the day(s) before departure in a really excessively nice way (including wonderful 3-dish-Indian-dinner at my place for my Iranian friends, as well as a last evening spent on the balcony immersed in a blanket and almost romantically inclined thoughts) I started cleaning the dishes (my mother suggested that a sink full of unwashed dishes could result in a significantly less pleasant return experience after a 10 day absence) and packing my bags at about 1 am .... thinking that I would just not sleep at all ... however, efficiency, you fickle mistress, I was absolutely finished by 2.48 and thus 52 minutes too early to shower and leave. Hooray, however, to my night-shift-working experiences, thanks to which I knew that I was capable of power-napping, so off to bed, 49 minutes of rest (with the lights kept on in the hall to make the transition easier).
And thus, I had the perfect Iberia flight to Boston one could imagine - in a state otherwise only approved for infants. Both times asleep before take-off I missed all of the Berlin-Madrid flight (no free food on that one anyway). And on the way to Boston could not even have been disappointed by the fact that it was one of these really old airbus models with only small and far-away shared screens for half the plane and those to be filled with two recent movies of which I would still be hard pressed to decide which was awful and which one was worse: "17 again" and "Pink Panther 2" - a fate, I was spared by my state. I woke up in time to claim my (quite edible) pasta lunch and coffee, to sleep (with the brief interruption of accepting my immigration forms) until dinner with coffee (apparently the Spanish airline coffee is no more effective than what I am fed since) to wake up to witness the amazing landing in Boston - as the airport is right at the sea, the plane seemingly grazing the ocean just before landing.
And not only are long distance flights less annoying (although I actually always like travel as much as arriving), it also prevents jetlag to start off with a totally disoriented body already!
Then again - living in a cheap (though acceptably clean and nice as well as well located) hostel possibly does little to enhance sleeping-in anyways.
As I am also in strong favor of cheap traveling, I ended up booking a flight to Boston that left Berlin at 7.35 - not a bad time I thought at the time... once again (see my Vienna trip in November) not taking the be-at-the-airport-2-hours-before-departure-idea into account. However, as I also rather successfully wasted away the day(s) before departure in a really excessively nice way (including wonderful 3-dish-Indian-dinner at my place for my Iranian friends, as well as a last evening spent on the balcony immersed in a blanket and almost romantically inclined thoughts) I started cleaning the dishes (my mother suggested that a sink full of unwashed dishes could result in a significantly less pleasant return experience after a 10 day absence) and packing my bags at about 1 am .... thinking that I would just not sleep at all ... however, efficiency, you fickle mistress, I was absolutely finished by 2.48 and thus 52 minutes too early to shower and leave. Hooray, however, to my night-shift-working experiences, thanks to which I knew that I was capable of power-napping, so off to bed, 49 minutes of rest (with the lights kept on in the hall to make the transition easier).
And thus, I had the perfect Iberia flight to Boston one could imagine - in a state otherwise only approved for infants. Both times asleep before take-off I missed all of the Berlin-Madrid flight (no free food on that one anyway). And on the way to Boston could not even have been disappointed by the fact that it was one of these really old airbus models with only small and far-away shared screens for half the plane and those to be filled with two recent movies of which I would still be hard pressed to decide which was awful and which one was worse: "17 again" and "Pink Panther 2" - a fate, I was spared by my state. I woke up in time to claim my (quite edible) pasta lunch and coffee, to sleep (with the brief interruption of accepting my immigration forms) until dinner with coffee (apparently the Spanish airline coffee is no more effective than what I am fed since) to wake up to witness the amazing landing in Boston - as the airport is right at the sea, the plane seemingly grazing the ocean just before landing.
And not only are long distance flights less annoying (although I actually always like travel as much as arriving), it also prevents jetlag to start off with a totally disoriented body already!
Then again - living in a cheap (though acceptably clean and nice as well as well located) hostel possibly does little to enhance sleeping-in anyways.
4/30/2009
eine bootsfahrt die ist .... well...
What is the hardest part in kayaking?
a) just paddle straight ahead
b) not to drown
c) to get into the boat
d) to hold the boat with your knees
e) to get out of the boat
f) not freeze in April-cold Wannsee
g) not be eaten by the mosquitoes during clean-up
well, if g does not really count as it is post-kayaking work I must confess: while I had suspected this question to have multiple answers all the way from b to f, actually it is not a multiple choice question at all and the only answer is a!
I had my first kayaking class last night and I think I am going to love it - because the water was already surprisingly pleasant, temperature-wise and also there was, of course (!) no full body water contact yet; and being on the water while the sun sets on the other shore and paddling away is really fun - ONLY the away part of my (and many of colleagues'!) paddling is not yet under control and thus we basically spiral our ways around the Wannsee in not quite pirouette-stile gracefulness.
a) just paddle straight ahead
b) not to drown
c) to get into the boat
d) to hold the boat with your knees
e) to get out of the boat
f) not freeze in April-cold Wannsee
g) not be eaten by the mosquitoes during clean-up
well, if g does not really count as it is post-kayaking work I must confess: while I had suspected this question to have multiple answers all the way from b to f, actually it is not a multiple choice question at all and the only answer is a!
I had my first kayaking class last night and I think I am going to love it - because the water was already surprisingly pleasant, temperature-wise and also there was, of course (!) no full body water contact yet; and being on the water while the sun sets on the other shore and paddling away is really fun - ONLY the away part of my (and many of colleagues'!) paddling is not yet under control and thus we basically spiral our ways around the Wannsee in not quite pirouette-stile gracefulness.
4/19/2009
Austria's impending financial disaster and my unpaid taxes
My interdisciplinary seminar on 'neoliberalism and the US' last week started off with a reading assignment of 3 chapters of Paul Krugmann's 2002 book The Conscience of a Liberal (and by being outed as "coming from Vienna, äh.. Austria I mean" after being the ONLY one about whose origin the teacher inquired - and the class being held in English it should not be due to my 'cute' accent....)
Since then (me of course not being familiar with the name Krugmann before... ignorance, it may be noted, is not necessarily bliss, especially not if present to the extent I usually display) much has happened and been treated in a classical Austrian manner:
Paul Krugmann allegedly claimed - in an address at Princeton University - that in the course of the current global economic crisis Austria was one of the countries most definitely heading towards national bankruptcy due to its generous credit-spending in East European countries. (Actually, there was a comment in this direction in the q&a period, when Krugmann mentioned that, after Ireland and Iceland, Austria was the European country who will likely suffer severely from the economic crisis in the time to come as many Eastern European countries experiencing currency issues might not be able to repay their credits, but he did not predict or does not see Austria to be doomed - see also his blog).
But, what is far more fascinating than what Krugman said or how he reacts to reactions are these reactions because in all their fervor they are such a tragically exquisite image of the Austrian Volksseele. Whenever, it seems, anyone who not only possesses the authority but also the data to substance his/her claim makes an utterance that sounds at least faintly critical of any Austrian issue - especially if it is not only dead on but possibly also addressing an issue 'we' are all too aware of - the whole country rushes into full defence mode:
Step 1: Blow the utterance totally out of proportion, first by the state media corporation ORF, immediately followed by the two really bad tabloids constantly battling for the label: "most news least based on reality"
Step 2: Political and other (relevant) "Authorities", using the Austrian media reports rather than the original source for background information, rush into full defense mode, usually by diverting attention from the actual issue and by trying to discredit the criticizer.
Usually (especially if the truth of the original statement should soon prove to be impossible to conceal any longer and especially if anyone should then dare to mutter (even under their breaths) 'told you so') these are followed by:
Step 3: "We definitely do not need some self-appointed someone for something to tell us how to run our affairs" - attitude paired with hostility towards possible well-meaning attempts of trying to extend a helping hand.
Step 4: If then both critics and well-wishers turn away from 'us' annoyed and (honestly) also because this small speck that looks like a fallen shriveled pear is just not important enough to hold international attention for more than a half-day, 'WE' actually turn from them - as we don't need anyone! definitely!
Step 5: Keep a low profile, pretend nothing ever happened, ingrain the we-did-not-do-anything(-wrong)-attitude in the collective identity and wait till the whole thing blows over, as it will soon enough (see 4).
Well, can't wait for this week's class, because I am pretty sure I will be taken for the authentic Austrian voice in class and be asked about the topic ... great! my little self in a discussion on international economics... I mean, people, there is a reason I am in literature! (Actually, one of the most treasured compliments I ever received was upon entering the University of Economics in Vienna in my 5th semester there (yes, I went there, too!!) dressed in an ankle length bright purple dress, meeting someone (in proper attire, of course) from my English class, who starred me up and down, exhaling: "You obviously so do not belong here" - end of digression).
BUT: Despair not - dearest country mine! Your situation is a lot less grave than anticipated!! Because, I have outstanding taxes to pay for two years. *schluck*
And this is dealt with beautifully at the moment - one more example of our efficient bureaucracy. My Göttergatte informed me that there had been an attempt to deliver an RSA-letter to me. That means most official letter possible (also used for the persecution of criminals, I assume). There is RSA and RSB - format of official letters. While RSB can also be collected by someone related to you (and by proving several things or so) RSA can ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY be collected by the addressee, which is a little difficult if you live mere 9 hours away.... (train-time that is). However, while no one can get the letter, Stefan could go LOOK AT it - and this way find out that our tax authorities were trying to send me some greetings. Thus, I called them (already suspecting my non-declared 2007 taxes to having originated this communication). After only 3 times being redirected within the office (though the first contact proved difficult as she wanted to know why I called - because someone from your office sent me an RSA - we send many RSA, I have no idea which department, you need to be more specific - I can't, because I live abroad and thus cannot find out what is in the letter - but without knowing the content, what do you want - I want to know the content - get the letter then - I cant, I live abroad .... - .... - .... - do you want my social security number so you could look up my file and maybe find out? - No - ähm? - what is your last name - (gave my name) - starting with D? - yes - then you 'belong' to the a-d department. Just a moment, I put you through. (!!!!?!)
But the A-D department tried to be helpful (though utterly slow - especially in the speech act. If the two guys there would not have been Austrian civil servants already, they could make a terrific career in some bio-supermarket, where complete body-deceleration is unfortunately but apparently a pre-condition for employment). I immediately (with the second person that is) got the information, that as i never declared my taxes for 2007, they now estimated them and sent me the result and due-payment information. Yes, we always send that by RSA, it is important personal information. No, I could not send it RSB, that is not done. No, we cannot send it to an address abroad. Of course, you can appeal this estimate. You have until Mid-May. - But, I cannot get the letter before summer when I am next in Vienna, thus cannot know what to appeal. - Well, if the letter is not collected and returned to us, we eventually (after sending other RSAs) will start legal prosecution - meaning I will be hunted for tax evasion, made more severe by my relocation abroad....
You see, we had a very *lösungsorientiert* (solution oriented) conversation placing us, within not even 2 minutes, squarely back into frame 1: I cannot collect your RSA letter because I now live abroad.
So after having discussed and eliminated all regulated options for their impracticality this clerk suddenly asks: 'Do you have access to an e-mail address?" - OF COURSE!!! 3 at least! "Oh, then just write me a quick note, and I will just send you your estimated tax report as pdf by mail." (took less than 7 minutes to get the whole thing - and now takes only 1 more weekend to come up with my real tax reports and appeal)
The beauty of modern technology is less its actual speed than the advance (speed wise) it has on regulations of how to use it in the Austrian system. Unfortunately their estimation was not far off reality, and thus - although I will try to claim a lot more expenses etc - I am likely looking at back taxes that will eat up the 'generous'-part of my scholarship for all 2.5 years still to come ...
Since then (me of course not being familiar with the name Krugmann before... ignorance, it may be noted, is not necessarily bliss, especially not if present to the extent I usually display) much has happened and been treated in a classical Austrian manner:
Paul Krugmann allegedly claimed - in an address at Princeton University - that in the course of the current global economic crisis Austria was one of the countries most definitely heading towards national bankruptcy due to its generous credit-spending in East European countries. (Actually, there was a comment in this direction in the q&a period, when Krugmann mentioned that, after Ireland and Iceland, Austria was the European country who will likely suffer severely from the economic crisis in the time to come as many Eastern European countries experiencing currency issues might not be able to repay their credits, but he did not predict or does not see Austria to be doomed - see also his blog).
But, what is far more fascinating than what Krugman said or how he reacts to reactions are these reactions because in all their fervor they are such a tragically exquisite image of the Austrian Volksseele. Whenever, it seems, anyone who not only possesses the authority but also the data to substance his/her claim makes an utterance that sounds at least faintly critical of any Austrian issue - especially if it is not only dead on but possibly also addressing an issue 'we' are all too aware of - the whole country rushes into full defence mode:
Step 1: Blow the utterance totally out of proportion, first by the state media corporation ORF, immediately followed by the two really bad tabloids constantly battling for the label: "most news least based on reality"
Step 2: Political and other (relevant) "Authorities", using the Austrian media reports rather than the original source for background information, rush into full defense mode, usually by diverting attention from the actual issue and by trying to discredit the criticizer.
Usually (especially if the truth of the original statement should soon prove to be impossible to conceal any longer and especially if anyone should then dare to mutter (even under their breaths) 'told you so') these are followed by:
Step 3: "We definitely do not need some self-appointed someone for something to tell us how to run our affairs" - attitude paired with hostility towards possible well-meaning attempts of trying to extend a helping hand.
Step 4: If then both critics and well-wishers turn away from 'us' annoyed and (honestly) also because this small speck that looks like a fallen shriveled pear is just not important enough to hold international attention for more than a half-day, 'WE' actually turn from them - as we don't need anyone! definitely!
Step 5: Keep a low profile, pretend nothing ever happened, ingrain the we-did-not-do-anything(-wrong)-attitude in the collective identity and wait till the whole thing blows over, as it will soon enough (see 4).
Well, can't wait for this week's class, because I am pretty sure I will be taken for the authentic Austrian voice in class and be asked about the topic ... great! my little self in a discussion on international economics... I mean, people, there is a reason I am in literature! (Actually, one of the most treasured compliments I ever received was upon entering the University of Economics in Vienna in my 5th semester there (yes, I went there, too!!) dressed in an ankle length bright purple dress, meeting someone (in proper attire, of course) from my English class, who starred me up and down, exhaling: "You obviously so do not belong here" - end of digression).
BUT: Despair not - dearest country mine! Your situation is a lot less grave than anticipated!! Because, I have outstanding taxes to pay for two years. *schluck*
And this is dealt with beautifully at the moment - one more example of our efficient bureaucracy. My Göttergatte informed me that there had been an attempt to deliver an RSA-letter to me. That means most official letter possible (also used for the persecution of criminals, I assume). There is RSA and RSB - format of official letters. While RSB can also be collected by someone related to you (and by proving several things or so) RSA can ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY be collected by the addressee, which is a little difficult if you live mere 9 hours away.... (train-time that is). However, while no one can get the letter, Stefan could go LOOK AT it - and this way find out that our tax authorities were trying to send me some greetings. Thus, I called them (already suspecting my non-declared 2007 taxes to having originated this communication). After only 3 times being redirected within the office (though the first contact proved difficult as she wanted to know why I called - because someone from your office sent me an RSA - we send many RSA, I have no idea which department, you need to be more specific - I can't, because I live abroad and thus cannot find out what is in the letter - but without knowing the content, what do you want - I want to know the content - get the letter then - I cant, I live abroad .... - .... - .... - do you want my social security number so you could look up my file and maybe find out? - No - ähm? - what is your last name - (gave my name) - starting with D? - yes - then you 'belong' to the a-d department. Just a moment, I put you through. (!!!!?!)
But the A-D department tried to be helpful (though utterly slow - especially in the speech act. If the two guys there would not have been Austrian civil servants already, they could make a terrific career in some bio-supermarket, where complete body-deceleration is unfortunately but apparently a pre-condition for employment). I immediately (with the second person that is) got the information, that as i never declared my taxes for 2007, they now estimated them and sent me the result and due-payment information. Yes, we always send that by RSA, it is important personal information. No, I could not send it RSB, that is not done. No, we cannot send it to an address abroad. Of course, you can appeal this estimate. You have until Mid-May. - But, I cannot get the letter before summer when I am next in Vienna, thus cannot know what to appeal. - Well, if the letter is not collected and returned to us, we eventually (after sending other RSAs) will start legal prosecution - meaning I will be hunted for tax evasion, made more severe by my relocation abroad....
You see, we had a very *lösungsorientiert* (solution oriented) conversation placing us, within not even 2 minutes, squarely back into frame 1: I cannot collect your RSA letter because I now live abroad.
So after having discussed and eliminated all regulated options for their impracticality this clerk suddenly asks: 'Do you have access to an e-mail address?" - OF COURSE!!! 3 at least! "Oh, then just write me a quick note, and I will just send you your estimated tax report as pdf by mail." (took less than 7 minutes to get the whole thing - and now takes only 1 more weekend to come up with my real tax reports and appeal)
The beauty of modern technology is less its actual speed than the advance (speed wise) it has on regulations of how to use it in the Austrian system. Unfortunately their estimation was not far off reality, and thus - although I will try to claim a lot more expenses etc - I am likely looking at back taxes that will eat up the 'generous'-part of my scholarship for all 2.5 years still to come ...
3/28/2009
three cheers for fischer-fix-it-pads
heute mal wieder aus der beliebten Serie: Die Frau und das Gewürzregal - a success story! Weil auch wenn drei der Bohrlöcher ausgerissen sind - mit insgesamt 4 fischer-fix-it-pads ist das überhaupt kein problem! Und jetzt Gewürze in 2 Reihen!
Oh, und beim Friseur gewesen endlich ... falls euch also wo ein brav-mädchen-kopf-der-den-helm-nicht-abgenommen-hat entgegen kommt, das könnte ich sein! Lass mir nämlich ja mal wieder die Haare wachsen, vielleicht....
And: The status of 'gray' moved from 'noted presence' to 'visible minority'
Oh, und beim Friseur gewesen endlich ... falls euch also wo ein brav-mädchen-kopf-der-den-helm-nicht-abgenommen-hat entgegen kommt, das könnte ich sein! Lass mir nämlich ja mal wieder die Haare wachsen, vielleicht....
And: The status of 'gray' moved from 'noted presence' to 'visible minority'
3/27/2009
South Asians everywhere!
Ok, on the outset lets once again state: I DON'T DO MUSIC .... so this is maybe really only surprising 'news' for me and no one else... and even the news part of the ethnic origin of a celebrity long dead is questionable... but I just found out that there is a distinctive South Asian component to Austrofred (mit dem ich ja die Volks- und Hauptschulbänke gedrückt habe ... unter großem Amüsement)! Farrokh Bulsara! I know, I am naive and uninformed, but this really is new to me and rather funny :) and I love the name Farrokh! And he loved Lata Mangeshkar - all the more reason to be thrilled in this current exercise of procrastination.
3/19/2009
oh ... the deliciousness of 'p'
Just having a rather unusual dinner - as in total I realized that I completely changed my eating habits and cooking activities since living alone... have hardly ever any of the foods I used to regularly eat in Vienna - for no known reason except maybe a bit of cooking lazyness and a lot of new-found rice addiction. As for today's food - that at least would fit into familiar Vienna patterns of nerdiness because all foods start with 'p' (be assured: alphabetic eating can never be wrong!) Today it's pistachiorice and papaya - never had either before, but they ended up on my dinner table together and are here to stay - metaphorically speaking, as literally speaking they are already gone, save for a last few spoonfuls of rice ... oh and the pistachios were persian! extra personal import and another 'p'
3/10/2009
shopping time
if you are not seriously given to alcoholism but the only thing your fridge sports in sufficient quantities is alcohol it is time for grocery shopping (and some bathroom supplies while at it). Just realized that even my staple supply - breakfast food - has come down to one and a half uninspired varieties (out of milk and fruit)...
But had great Iranian rice-lentil-meat dish for dinner yesterday - because (lucky for me) Javad's laptop refused his advances and would not let him log-in. And self-appointed busybody I claimed I could help ... I did (with rist's help) set up the wireless connection - although I think the mistake I first had was not the PPPoE because I found that preset anyway I think, but that I had not exited the set-up wizard yet and thus the system maybe had not yet saved the configurations... However, as for Javad's computer he had isolated the issue already, found a web-guide to help us, realized where I (only cursorily reading the guidelines) went wrong, corrected me and the only think I actually did was read dos-commands for him ... eat a lot of great food, lie around on their floor, chat away, feel very comfy and only reluctantly ran to get the last train back into town....
Of course, we got hardly any reading done and today is dentist day again... but maybe after having my tooth refilled with medicine and then enjoying the Turkish grocery store I might still maybe possibly head to the library?!?
But had great Iranian rice-lentil-meat dish for dinner yesterday - because (lucky for me) Javad's laptop refused his advances and would not let him log-in. And self-appointed busybody I claimed I could help ... I did (with rist's help) set up the wireless connection - although I think the mistake I first had was not the PPPoE because I found that preset anyway I think, but that I had not exited the set-up wizard yet and thus the system maybe had not yet saved the configurations... However, as for Javad's computer he had isolated the issue already, found a web-guide to help us, realized where I (only cursorily reading the guidelines) went wrong, corrected me and the only think I actually did was read dos-commands for him ... eat a lot of great food, lie around on their floor, chat away, feel very comfy and only reluctantly ran to get the last train back into town....
Of course, we got hardly any reading done and today is dentist day again... but maybe after having my tooth refilled with medicine and then enjoying the Turkish grocery store I might still maybe possibly head to the library?!?
3/09/2009
a world that doesn't want me to change...
started my work-week (as yesterday was make-up-for-previous-slackness-day) with bravery and finally opened the e-mail subjected 'reminder' ... and here is what was in there:
"I hope you are all well and able to enjoy what I hope will soon be a nice and sunny spring. Not that we have seen much of it yet in Germany. Since we are currently having a term break here, we are eager to make progress on the publication of the conference proceedings. I would therefore like to ask you to submit your contributions to the volume by mid-April at the latest or, if you should have decided against sending us your article, to please let us know." Another month! yeah! or rather ... damn immediately my finally kicked-in stress level subsided again....
but the funniest part of it all was the list of recipients: not only were all three of the group I hang out with during the conference (looong and very tasty whiskey nights) on that list, but - not unexpected - my former boss as well... thus, at least the impending danger of being just like him should keep me on my toes...
"I hope you are all well and able to enjoy what I hope will soon be a nice and sunny spring. Not that we have seen much of it yet in Germany. Since we are currently having a term break here, we are eager to make progress on the publication of the conference proceedings. I would therefore like to ask you to submit your contributions to the volume by mid-April at the latest or, if you should have decided against sending us your article, to please let us know." Another month! yeah! or rather ... damn immediately my finally kicked-in stress level subsided again....
but the funniest part of it all was the list of recipients: not only were all three of the group I hang out with during the conference (looong and very tasty whiskey nights) on that list, but - not unexpected - my former boss as well... thus, at least the impending danger of being just like him should keep me on my toes...
3/08/2009
...desperate measures...
desperate situations call for desperate measures ... which landed me in the library on sunday morning - though already 1 hour later than hoped for ... but as nothing got written yesterday and I still have not opened the 'reminder' e-mail received friday (oh yes - chicken! that's right!) and the next overdue deadlines are already swooshing by... maybe I should at some point try and get professional help ? not for the writing! for the life-running :)
3/06/2009
on myself as an academic life-form
two insights on my little academic strugglings
1. the academic world and life-form is probably by now the only one where I will ever be able to almost function ... because nowhere else is the idea of a deadline rather perceived as a vague temporal guideline than a rule to be obeyed or even an inclusion/exclusion factor. (i.e. the answer I got this morning after announcing another due-paper's-late-by-at-least-3-weeks-arrival for mid-march: "That's fine. No Problem, Asha." Although, the same day also saw the arrival of a yet unopened e-mail with the subject 'Reminder' ... but then again, I had promised that paper for mid-January and am thoroughly ashamed of myself AGAIN
2. Just realized one reason why I am so totally stuck in this essay (for which the kind reminder is intended) ... because a lot of readings and discussions over the last weeks also lead to a total re-evaluation of my phd-project and the theory I could base it on - all of which is only in the very beginning stages of being researched by me (i.e. most things I just heard about but have not yet read myself) - thus the paper I gave at that conference in July is really no longer what I want to submit ... but in rewriting and restructuring I catch myself in trying to get my whole (yet undeveloped) argument into 15 pages and still analyse 2 books of short stories and try to make sense at least to myself. But, realization is not always the first step to solve a problem .... because what I want to say about these short stories is exactly based on these changed premises of my PhD project ...
and finally the usual update on procrastination activities: as I am back on facebook, my procrastinating life (and as I am still new to my new playtool) has become almost hectic with commenting, checking, wall-writing, ... thus too little blogging recently but hope that gets better again, because facebook really is to public to put myself out there!
1. the academic world and life-form is probably by now the only one where I will ever be able to almost function ... because nowhere else is the idea of a deadline rather perceived as a vague temporal guideline than a rule to be obeyed or even an inclusion/exclusion factor. (i.e. the answer I got this morning after announcing another due-paper's-late-by-at-least-3-weeks-arrival for mid-march: "That's fine. No Problem, Asha." Although, the same day also saw the arrival of a yet unopened e-mail with the subject 'Reminder' ... but then again, I had promised that paper for mid-January and am thoroughly ashamed of myself AGAIN
2. Just realized one reason why I am so totally stuck in this essay (for which the kind reminder is intended) ... because a lot of readings and discussions over the last weeks also lead to a total re-evaluation of my phd-project and the theory I could base it on - all of which is only in the very beginning stages of being researched by me (i.e. most things I just heard about but have not yet read myself) - thus the paper I gave at that conference in July is really no longer what I want to submit ... but in rewriting and restructuring I catch myself in trying to get my whole (yet undeveloped) argument into 15 pages and still analyse 2 books of short stories and try to make sense at least to myself. But, realization is not always the first step to solve a problem .... because what I want to say about these short stories is exactly based on these changed premises of my PhD project ...
and finally the usual update on procrastination activities: as I am back on facebook, my procrastinating life (and as I am still new to my new playtool) has become almost hectic with commenting, checking, wall-writing, ... thus too little blogging recently but hope that gets better again, because facebook really is to public to put myself out there!
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