I admit, some (or most) might think I am delusionally optimistic, but life is all about being prepared! (...ok, yes that is a weird statement coming from the queen of 'das geht sich alles aus' 'das haben wir noch immer so gemacht' and 'a bissi spontane flexibilität, mehr brauchts ned') But I have always been the glass-is-almost-full-person (more about that in a second) and so I went to IKEA and Baumarkt (yes again) and bought myself a nice, cheap chair for many coming hours of reading and cocktail slurping on my balcony! Because yesterday it was nice and sunny, the weather report mentioned up to 8-10 degrees plus, and at 9 this morning (when i finally exited my beloved bed) I was practically blinded by the sun streaming into my 5 bedroom windows... And thus I am happily prepared for a spring which can only be just around the corner, if even that far, I am sure! Even if my glass - on the short bike tour from Ikea to my home, was once more filled almost to the brink with icy rain and I did at one point almost consider buttoning my spring jacket ...
Furthermore there was a IKEA family invitation for some marketing activity these weeks and as this is about the only family I am a real member of around here, of course I went and collected my free 'Jausenbrett' and participated in the 1000 euro raffle... because I am sure that the guy at the self-service-cashier who collected my ticket and put it into his pant pocket after folding it to matchbox size will not just throw it away...
2/26/2009
On actual, real supervisors
Well, some of you out there might think, well of course, or what is the issue here? a pleasant, very friendly talk with a very interested professor who exchanges general pleasantries and then goes with you through the proposed structure of your thesis, comments on your problems, raises other problems you might encounter or what you will have to do and how and what concepts to maybe read up on for specific issues ... isn't that just the common definition of 'supervisor'?
But for me this still is a totally new experience after having stumbled into paradise ... So my anticipated meeting went very well, we talked about settling in Berlin, in the grad school, the conference preparations and finally came to the new structure of my dissertation I put together this week and she gave encouragement, agreed with much of it, gave additional suggestions for reading, contested one of the critics I will use but we nicely argued it/him (How to use Walter Benn Michaels without agreeing with him on more than the most general level of his argument). Then she (unfortunately) assured me that given my selection of texts I will have to get into gender debates, especially in connection with 'the exotic' and with the literary market... so one more field I have to open up for myself... and as I have so much trouble with collective identities, I will now start looking a bit in the direction of communitarianism... thus really productive and nice chat...
realization1: on the long run we will have serious difficulties with each other, if she should continue to be that nice, because i will need someone to kick me, as we all know, but then again, I think (and have heard) that she is professional and tough, thus the kicking will be provided, I suppose, as the need arises
realization2: In the course of throwing out my papercup and napkin after a chai to go at the Villa I also threw out my printouts for the meeting ... on which I also had made notes during the same meeting.... how dumb can one be??? Well, as we are assured here constantly - we are distinguished by excellence, which in my case is just in a different field apparently ...
But for me this still is a totally new experience after having stumbled into paradise ... So my anticipated meeting went very well, we talked about settling in Berlin, in the grad school, the conference preparations and finally came to the new structure of my dissertation I put together this week and she gave encouragement, agreed with much of it, gave additional suggestions for reading, contested one of the critics I will use but we nicely argued it/him (How to use Walter Benn Michaels without agreeing with him on more than the most general level of his argument). Then she (unfortunately) assured me that given my selection of texts I will have to get into gender debates, especially in connection with 'the exotic' and with the literary market... so one more field I have to open up for myself... and as I have so much trouble with collective identities, I will now start looking a bit in the direction of communitarianism... thus really productive and nice chat...
realization1: on the long run we will have serious difficulties with each other, if she should continue to be that nice, because i will need someone to kick me, as we all know, but then again, I think (and have heard) that she is professional and tough, thus the kicking will be provided, I suppose, as the need arises
realization2: In the course of throwing out my papercup and napkin after a chai to go at the Villa I also threw out my printouts for the meeting ... on which I also had made notes during the same meeting.... how dumb can one be??? Well, as we are assured here constantly - we are distinguished by excellence, which in my case is just in a different field apparently ...
2/23/2009
the beauty of literature
Currently analyzing or taking closer looks at Saleema Nawaz Mother Superior short story collection - which is a recommendation all along! One of the stories - "The Beater" - is one of the very rare examples I know where an attempt at second person singular narrative voice actually works. The story opens with a memory of the paranoid mother who thinks that the husband (who used to beat her and thus she left him and 3 kids) had found her and was following.
“You stumble to keep up, legs trembling. You’re three, and fear is contagious.”
It is sentences like this that reassure me about being in the right field.
“You stumble to keep up, legs trembling. You’re three, and fear is contagious.”
It is sentences like this that reassure me about being in the right field.
this winner takes it all...
And the Oscars go to: Slumdog Millionaire
This really great film won 8 Oscars and although it was nominated for 10 it actually did only not get one of the nominations because THE god of Bollywood music, A. R. Rehman was running as his own competitor as he was twice nominated for best song.
The only thing I would have to complain about - concerning the Hollywood lobby - is that although the overall achievement of this movie was acknowledged in many of the major categories, it is also telling that none of the actors was even nominated - because in that respect Hollywood apparently still needs to protegee their own only. I would need to research that but I would not be surprised is this was the first time that a movie was nominated (and won) every major award without any of the actors even being nominated. How can a movie have such an impact if the acting itself were not also great?
The bollywood media is happy and just as watching this film with Carola on the first day of the year in San Francisco triggered off a really good year, I hope these news on Monday morning will trigger a really good week.
Go watch the movie! (and remember: It is peanut butter and chocolate...)
This really great film won 8 Oscars and although it was nominated for 10 it actually did only not get one of the nominations because THE god of Bollywood music, A. R. Rehman was running as his own competitor as he was twice nominated for best song.
The only thing I would have to complain about - concerning the Hollywood lobby - is that although the overall achievement of this movie was acknowledged in many of the major categories, it is also telling that none of the actors was even nominated - because in that respect Hollywood apparently still needs to protegee their own only. I would need to research that but I would not be surprised is this was the first time that a movie was nominated (and won) every major award without any of the actors even being nominated. How can a movie have such an impact if the acting itself were not also great?
The bollywood media is happy and just as watching this film with Carola on the first day of the year in San Francisco triggered off a really good year, I hope these news on Monday morning will trigger a really good week.
Go watch the movie! (and remember: It is peanut butter and chocolate...)
2/21/2009
tax-weekend it seems
doing backlog of tax-issues - tax report for 2007 (by now I have sorted and glued and filed almost all bills...which in between made for a nice image because I was literally surrounded by bills and papers - sitting on the floor arranging all items by date in a 12 piles circle around me), church tax, letters to social security companies, still to do: finalize 2007 report, do everything on 2008 report - and in the course of doing so also collect all bills on renovation expenses for a healthy shock experience in overspening... cancel memberships at Denzel drive, and fully terminate my 'business' in Austria.
Happy event: found my income tax report of 2006 in the last box of papers to sort and file.... and apparently have some 'guthaben' for 2008 income tax - which will be very much needed too... afraid of upcoming back-tax-request...
if anyone should be expecting mail from me - please be patient a bit longer ... taxes are not good for the head and I really am too totally uncreative to pen even a nice one-liner
Happy event: found my income tax report of 2006 in the last box of papers to sort and file.... and apparently have some 'guthaben' for 2008 income tax - which will be very much needed too... afraid of upcoming back-tax-request...
if anyone should be expecting mail from me - please be patient a bit longer ... taxes are not good for the head and I really am too totally uncreative to pen even a nice one-liner
2/18/2009
the fascination of the lower arm
have you ever observed how finger movements activate your lower arm? I am currently fascinated by that ... in sitting position put your right hand on your left shoulder and the ellbow on the table in front of you so your eyes watch your lower arm. Now start drumming on your shoulder with our fingers - index to small. all of them or individual ones... I think t'is fascinating how the arm flexes and moves ... and yes I am still in the library and still trying to read Judith Butler's reading of Levina's idea of the 'face' and our killing instincts ... so forgive me for getting a little weird ...
2/17/2009
being good girls
Day One of our new productive life: azadeh and I are actually in the library at the FU - the so-called 'brain' due to its shape and already really productive. We are planning on doing that now 3 days a week for 5 hours each at least ...
so far I started into a book I got only this morning: Walter Benn Michaels "the Trouble with Diversity" - not only is he perfect for my argument and very interesting and thought provoking and useful, but the introduction at least was also hilariously funny written - as far as academic texts go. He is witty, ironic and has his thumb right on the problem of society - which is that we love ethnicities and talking about identities because we are so afraid of talking about class and actual social inequality - because that would mean we need to act and redistribute and restructure while on diversity we so nicely managed to agree and just have to accept difference but not redistribute real wealth. His argument, of course, is a lot more complex already in the introduction, but that is the major issue he then discusses on several levels and problems.
Fitting into how I want to use Michaels for my thesis is Butler's arguments on the precariousness of lifes which she outlined in her talk earlier this month and which I am now also reading up on in her 2004 published collection of five post 9/11 essays on the topic.
So I think that I will come up with an argument where I think society and cultural studies should be going / or are already heading at - away from identity towards universal humanism - and then look at my texts again and how or whether they already show a turn in that direction and how such negotiations are presented with a focus on the aesthetic rather than on politics. Which I should form into a 15 page nutshell essay by the end of the week as it is beyond overdue for my contribution to a conference publication in Göttingen....
But my hopes are flying high, as we are already being such good girls and enthusiastic about it .... and then again, blogging is of course also just a form of procrastination...
so far I started into a book I got only this morning: Walter Benn Michaels "the Trouble with Diversity" - not only is he perfect for my argument and very interesting and thought provoking and useful, but the introduction at least was also hilariously funny written - as far as academic texts go. He is witty, ironic and has his thumb right on the problem of society - which is that we love ethnicities and talking about identities because we are so afraid of talking about class and actual social inequality - because that would mean we need to act and redistribute and restructure while on diversity we so nicely managed to agree and just have to accept difference but not redistribute real wealth. His argument, of course, is a lot more complex already in the introduction, but that is the major issue he then discusses on several levels and problems.
Fitting into how I want to use Michaels for my thesis is Butler's arguments on the precariousness of lifes which she outlined in her talk earlier this month and which I am now also reading up on in her 2004 published collection of five post 9/11 essays on the topic.
So I think that I will come up with an argument where I think society and cultural studies should be going / or are already heading at - away from identity towards universal humanism - and then look at my texts again and how or whether they already show a turn in that direction and how such negotiations are presented with a focus on the aesthetic rather than on politics. Which I should form into a 15 page nutshell essay by the end of the week as it is beyond overdue for my contribution to a conference publication in Göttingen....
But my hopes are flying high, as we are already being such good girls and enthusiastic about it .... and then again, blogging is of course also just a form of procrastination...
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